Samatvam / Upekkha

 Blog inspired by  ancient stories

                             

 

Samatvam/Upekkha

Samatvam or Upekkha is a state of mind where one remains unperturbed by external circumstances, whether positive or negative. We learn to neither get overly attached to pleasant situations nor disappointed by unpleasant ones.

This is  a quality in life I have always aspired to have. It brings with it a deep sense of happiness which can only be experienced, not explained. I would like to share this beautiful story that throws more light on this quality of equanimity-samatvam.

                             

Once upon a time, there lived a poor farmer. He had a small farm and  had only one horse to help him plough the field and carry the load. He was content with what he had, though he had only so much.

One day, his horse ran away. His neighbors rushed to his house to express their sympathy and said “What a terrible luck this was!”. He replied “Maybe”.

They were surprised at his answer and thought how could he be so calm in this situation. They concluded that he was in denial of his bad luck.

 

 A few days later, the farmer’s horse returned and brought with it several wild horses. Now, the farmer had many horses to help him around the farm. This time again, the neighbors came rushing to congratulate him on his luck. Smiling calmly, he said “may be, it is good luck or maybe not”.

A few days later, the farmer’s son tried to tame one of the wild horses. He fell down and broke his leg. Again, the neighbors came to express their sympathy. “What bad luck that your son has broken his leg, now he can't help you!”.  The farmer calmly replied once again - “maybe”. The villagers were baffled and surprised to see his nonchalant response.

Soon, a war broke out in the country and soldiers came to the village to draw out young men to fight the war. Many other villagers’ sons were taken to fight the war. The farmer's son was spared due to his injury. Once again, the neighbors came to say “how blessed you are that your son broke his leg!”.  Farmer replied, “may be”.

What we need to learn from this story is ‘Nothing in life is permanent’.

The farmer’s wisdom and his consistent replies of “may be” for every situation shows his deep understanding that change is the only constant in life.   The innate desire to categorize events as desirable or undesirable, favorable or unfavorable creates an emotional roller-coaster. We are often elated when things go well and devastated when things go wrong.

The farmer’s story shows that - we never have the complete picture. The concept of non-judgement does not mean indifference or apathy.  The farmer was not detached from his life. He possessed equanimity - he cared about his horse, his son and his livelihood, but he did not allow his peace of mind to be at the mercy of his circumstances.

When we stop insisting that life confirms to our ideas of how things should be, we find a deeper freedom. Envy steals our peace of mind. How often we compare our circumstances to that of others, concluding that we are either blessed or cursed based on such comparisons.  All the ancient Indian scriptures teach us to do our duties dispassionately.

If we try to practice this quality of samatvam /upekkha in our everyday situations, it will free us from the misery of our expectations and lead us to the path of happiness in our present reality.

Happy living

 

 

 

Augmentative and Alternative Communication and Autism

What is The AAC??

It is  the  Augmentative and Alternative Communication. 

The  AAC journey began for my son and me in 2022. My son is a  minimally speaking autistic. He has Childhood Apraxia of Speech (CAS).   

This diagnosis came only when he turned 12. Up until then, no speech therapist ever pointed out this to us. He would speak with prompts only.  No matter how hard we tried, he struggled to say words without prompts.

 Apraxia makes the motor planning of  words difficult. It needs therapies to help  and improve  the motor planning. His Speech therapist suggested the use of AAC for communication. I was very skeptical as I thought he has speech, why should he have to depend on any device to communicate. 

But I chose to believe in my therapist as a leap of faith.

She is trained in Avaz  Communication.

The struggle 

It was a struggle for me to initiate the device partly because of I myself feeling awkward moving around with the device to model words on it to my son. For the initial few months,   my son never even touched the device. 

The Breakthrough 

But during one of his severe colic episodes in the night, when he was having a shutdown,  I tried using the device to assure him that he's going to be ok. And that I love him so much. That moment, he just looked at me. I knew I had  found a way to reach him .

Consistency is the key

The AAC requires consistent efforts  from the parents through modelling. We also need to presume competence in our child. 

I also realised the device helped in self advocacy skills for my son. He started sharing his desires and the things he likes. He is a stage 4 gestalt language processor (GLP), so his communication mostly comes in chunks of words trying to communicate his thoughts. He is slowly learning to meaningfully communicate through sentences too.

I am so happy to hear him speak about all the different foods he wants to eat and  the places he loves to go to.

The biggest win was when  he started verbalising the words so quickly. He  would learn the words through the device and  would come to us to   tell what he is thinking. It was pure music to my ears to hear his expressive speech. 

The Joy

Only a mother who yearns to hear the child's voice for so many years would be able to understand the amount of joy I felt and  am still feeling it even today.

Non speaking does not mean Non thinking 

 It is  a  myth that people who can't speak don't think.

I have a request to all the parents who are struggling to help their children facing  difficulty in speech,  to consider providing  their children with an alternative mode of communication.

Communication is a basic right. Neurodivergent people have every right to express what they feel. They need ways to express it.

 It is our duty as parents to provide them with opportunities to communicate with whatever means is suited to them.

Even a low-tech mode of communication such as a letter board can be really helpful. Hi-tech  version being an exclusive device to communicate through apps that facilitate communication would be even better.

Purpose of sharing my experience 

I am sharing my experience as a way to tell parents who are facing similar situations- to let go of their apprehensions and provide any mode of communication to their children, if there is a need. 

Consult a SLP (Speech Language Pathologist) trained in different modes of communication.

Life  becomes less frustrating and happier  for  the autistic population when there is an access to communication.

 

Here's to  happier times!

Signing off

Notsospecialmommy:)